Letting my guards down; Confessions of a pastor’s daughter-Ep 6

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I got to my room thinking of so many things. What if my mum dies, what if the church council sends for me, what will I say? My dad was to have a meeting with the council the next day. I never thought my coming back will cost me and my family so much trouble. Oh my God what did I just get myself into? What was I thinking?

Abeni..Kunbi shouted as she barged into my room. Are you satisfied now you have put our parents in a bad state?

To think that Dad said he was disappointed in me. He has never said that to me in 28 years of my life. Why did you come back Abeni? Since you came It’s been one problem to another. You are such a bad news.

I just kept on staring at her without saying a word as she continued to rant.

Abeni im talking to you.

And so what I replied with so much anger in my voice as I walked up and stood face to face with her.

It has always been about you. Yes you have always wanted to be the best child. All you ever want is make me look like the bad one but you know what, you will never be better than me Kunbi no matter how hard you try.

How dare you talk to me in that manner Abeni. Im older than you and..Oh shut up Kunbi

What. she shouted in shock

Yes shut the fuck up Kunbi.

You use the F word Abeni she said quite calmly

We both know how you struggled to be an average student. You need to tell me how you became a mental health specialist, an award winning one at that. With the results you had back then, it would never have been possible so get off this holier than thou attitude.

Abeni seriously, you say all this to me.

Oh please Kunbi. Come off it. When the church awarded me a scholarship, you were never happy for me. I was very much aware of how you told Pastor Dennis ill things about me just because you were jealous and interested in the scholarship.

Now her eyes and mouth were open in shock

Oh you are surprised arent you?

Elder sister my foot

Go to hell Kunbi.

I was refused the scholarship after then remember? How come you never asked how I got it back

You want to know how?

I went to the foundation responsible for giving out the scholarship pleaded day in day out for them to reconsider my application. After several months I gave my virginity in exchange for the scholarship and afterwards I swore to make the best out of it which was why I bagged several awards including that of the best student with a grade no one ever had in the history of the school. That my sister is what you will never achieve with your virginity even if you kept it all your life.

I hated you with a passion but never for once showed it because I respect this family and for some reason I decided to let it go but if you want to see the other side of me, I mean the brutal part of me continue acting unreasonable. Now get out of my way before I squeeze life out of you I said to her with my fist pointing towards her face and she fled immediately out of the room.

I rushed to grab the bottle of water on my reading table to cool off. I felt like my chest was about to leave my body.

This was a grudge I have had for so many years I just let out. I felt good and terrible about it the same time but I just didnt care. I was ready for the worse after all my entire secret was out in the open.

What next I asked myself as I looked at the several awards hanging on the wall and for the first time they meant nothing to me. I immediately knelt down with my eyes closed and asked for wisdom from God to get through all of these without anyone in the family being hurt. This is all I ask for God. I need your help. Please give me a second chance.

While I was still in that position, my phone rang.

Hello, Abeni speaking. Who is this?

Hi Abeni its Dr Adaeze.

How are you doing?

Oh Hi Dr Adaeze

My parents found out already and I feel like my whole world is crashing before me.

Abeni please take it easy on yourself she said with so much empathy. I’ll be coming over to your church tomorrow to commence cryotherapy treatments on the ladies who had early changes on their cervix as a result of the HPV infection. I hope we can see and talk.

Of course Dr Adaeze. Thank you so much

I’ll see you tomorrow

Ok Bye.

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